Gender Assumptions

Something I have become aware of recently is how those who are heterosexual typically refer to same sex attraction as a struggle. I personally have never had those inclinations so I don't know how I would feel about it. But, I wonder if those who are homosexual feel like it is a  struggle. Perhaps it is lessening with so much attention and societal support now...I don't know. Because this is not something I am experiencing, I really don't understand a lot about it. I am someone who really wants to have a well rounded perspective and to be able to see where someones point of view is coming from. I think because of that, I am loving what I'm studying and learning. One thing I hope to be able to accomplish is to have a non-confrontational conversation. I'm basically trying to make sense of all the nonsense. 

In my family systems class we were talking about gender fluidity and same gender attraction. I found it fascinating. There is so much that affects us even without us knowing it. One of the things that we discussed was assumptions regarding attraction, how our interpretation of the world around us affects what we feel, and and how reinforcing behaviors affects all of it - basically. I think this was my favorite part. It also seemed to go along with the ideas of behaviorism that I am learning about in my psychology class. 

There are 3 stages to identifying yourself as someone in the Gay/Lesbian/etc. category;

1. Same sex attraction
When using the word "attraction" here, I don't mean in a  sexual sort of way. I simply mean a longing to be close to those of your gender.  This is typically where people first feel a pull for their own gender. 

2. Homosexual
This is where sexualization of people starts to kick in, whether physically or mentally. It only comes after you feel a sense of "attraction" to your gender and typically isn't something that is in the mind of children, but rather, it starts once you're hitting puberty or later. In general, before puberty, people don't view/think of others in a sexualized way. 

3. Deciding you are Gay/Lesbian/etc.
This is where someone decides that this is something that defines them. At least to some degree, this is a factor in their identity. 

This makes a lot of sense to me because I don't think most people are walking hormones with the intention of having sexual experiences with everyone we come into contact with. I think people are generally moral. People simply want intimacy. When I say "intimacy" I only mean a sense of closeness and security, not sexual in anyway. I don't think that it is any different for heterosexual people than it is for homosexual people. We as humans want a closeness with people, and typically (especially as children) we look for that sense of closeness through those we are similar to.  However, sometimes we have experiences or circumstances that will make us look for that closeness elsewhere. Then, as that behavior or inclination is reinforced, people accept that as part of their identity. I also should clarify, when I'm talking about "reinforcement" I mean anything that will keep bringing an idea to mind. It does not need to be something that is positive. An example could be praise for taking a stance and standing your ground or the opposite like constantly being put down, bullied, and shamed or anything in between.

Anyway, I wanted to share some of the ideas that I have been learning about. I definitely don't have it all figured out yet, but lets be real, will I ever have it all figure out? Please feel free to comment with any thoughts or ideas that you have so we can all learn from each other. Also, please be respectful. 

Thanks guys! I hope you're having a great day. 

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