Stress...that's a bad thing, right?

When I think of stress, I think of finances and deadlines....which makes sense in the stage of life I am in right now. If you asked me a year ago, I would have also added trying to figure out what I want to do with my life - this time next year I'll probably tell you that applying for jobs and grad school is stressful. Basically, I think of struggling and hardships. But, how many of us think of diamonds? Carbon needs to go through immense amounts of "stress" before becoming the thing of beauty that people desire and cherish. It needs to be found, cut down, and polished. This is true of people and our relationships as well.

As we struggle together and lean on each other, our relationships come out so much stronger.  This is something we see in movies all the time. (Disclaimer: No, I don't believe everything I see on TV).  An obvious example of this is Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gagee. Sure they were friends before their journey together, but there was such a deep and profound love and respect for one another once all was said and done that it couldn't be put into words.

There is a model that address the process people go through called the ABCx model. 

ABCx stands for: 

Actual Event:

   Both - Response and Resources 

+ Cognition (how we define the situation/ think about it/ feel about it)

x  (Total Experience [this is the outcome]) 

There are 12 different types of stressors. I'm not going to list them all, but they can be divided into two main categories. Physiological (physical) and Psychological (mental). Each person develops coping skills as they have different experiences in life. Some of these can be very beneficial while others can be damaging. It is important to identify what kind of approach you are taking. Is it allowing you to grow and become a better person or is it stunting your growth?  

One thing that we really need to avoid is ANTs:  

Automatic

Negative

Thoughts

As we allow ourselves to fall into this, it affects the "x" factor, it plays a role in how we perceive the total experience. It makes me think of that verse of scripture that says "as a man thinketh, so is he".  If we percieve something as terrible and hard, it is going to be. If we are able to keep the perspective of what we are learning, how we are growing, and how the situation can benefit people, it will be that much better of an experience. 

For example, I am in college. I can think about the stress of finishing assignments, studying for and taking exams, and all of those things. With that perspective, I will be dragging through semester after semester, checking boxes off a list of requirements. But, if I think about the content of the courses, how I need to know that information to be prepared, how I will be able to help people when I come out (alive) on the other side, and about the experiences shared with new friends, I will love college. 

The main point I am trying to make is that we all have stressful times in our lives but, if we can learn how to recognize the beneficial value of those times, we will be all the better for it. 

I hope this has all made sense and that it can be beneficial to someone out there in the world. I love learning about all of this. Please, if you have questions, ask them. If you have insights, share them. 

Have a  great day!

Rebecca