Transitions in Marriage

There is a funny thing about being in school. I think that time actually changes because last think I knew, it was the end of May...but apparently its actually closer to the end of June, which is crazy to me. I have also realized I need to work on my blogging skills. I have no problem talking with people, but apparently when I write it all out, I sound more like I'm writing a book report. Oh well.

I wanted to take a minute to talk about some of the transitions that people go through once they get married and start having children. I have been learning about some of the things that typically bring couples closer together and things that will pull them apart. Some of the things were pretty self apparent, but others were really quite subtle - things I never would have thought of.

Some of the more obvious things were financially oriented, like making large purchases without checking in with your spouse or charging things to your credit card when you can't afford them. Others that were also pretty self explanatory were things like talking bed about each other behind their backs. Hopefully, these aren't things that we struggle with, but if they are, reach out to each other and resolve these issues, please.

For the not so obvious ones, it was things like how much you rely on your family and friends. For example, when you and your spouse have a disagreement, you shouldn't talk to other people about it, even "just to blow off steam", even if you aren't trying to put them in a bad light or anything. When people do this, they don't typically go back and talk about how they resolved it and all the good things that person has done. Plus, it wont have the emotional ties of resolution for anyone outside of the relationship. Something else that was good indicator or whether or not you will be successful in the first few years of your marriage was who paid for the wedding and the reception. If this was done by the couple, statistically, they were happier. Whereas, when it was paid for by the families or parents, the couple had more problems.  That seemed odd to me at first, I mean, how would that make a difference at all, right? It seems to go along with the idea that when you invest in something yourself, you are more likely to take care of it. Not only that, but as the couple sacrifices to make their marriage a reality, they draw closer together and learn to lean on one another. How cool is that?!

I just love learning about relationships. I have also been fascinated with personality assessments lately...would you guess that my personality is highly influenced by relationships, people, and the bonds we make? Because that is definitely me. No wonder I find this so fascinating and want to be a family therapist.

As always feel free to comment or ask any questions. If I don't know, I'll find out and let you know.

Have a great day!
Rebecca